the new year

happy new year! it's 2008! a new year, new start, new beginnings! if that's all true why have i managed to waste an inordinate amount of time today just futzing around? i've got stuff to do, it's just not as riveting as the new york times (which isn't, really.) i guess old habits die hard?

well, i've decided to use the illusory fresh start and clean slate of the new year for some resolutions. i normally don't make new year's resolutions, but drastic times call for drastic measures. :) i am renewing my commitment to being physically fit. i have allowed myself to get disgracefully fat and out of shape and i just can't stand it anymore. i can chalk up the first ten pounds as happy-just-got-married fat, but beyond that it's just not cool. i refuse to buy any more fat clothes, and could i ever use a shopping trip or two for some new threads! but i am not getting any until i fit into all my stuff that's too small just now, which will be like getting a whole bunch of new clothes, and at the right price. the next time i put on a bikini (i started buying bikinis exclusively in my late twenties) i will NOT feel embarrassed! i was up at a friend's place near yosemite this past summer and i felt like a beached whale in my suit as we all sat around the frigid swimming hole, dangling our feet and chatting. i am just not up for another round of such humiliation.

to that end i've come up with a plan! first off, i am going to keep my lunchtime workout routine simple. monday, wednesday and friday i will do cardio; tuesday and thursday i will do weights. i tried taking a few classes last quarter and it really made it more of a pain to go to the gym, and trying to do some cardio and some weights each time just left me feeling rushed and like i wasn't doing a good job with any of it, and then i got sick and that was that for the year. i also plan to get in at least one full work out (cardio & weights) on the weekend, and if i cancel one of my weekday workouts to go to lunch with someone then i'll shoot for two on the weekend. i need to give myself some wiggle room to go out to lunch once in a while. i am also cutting out sweets until i lose this weight and that is very hard for me! i can cut out the booze so easily... if i'm not drinking it i don't miss it, but the sweets! i am so addicted to sugar! i am using honey in my oatmeal, but i have to use something in oatmeal otherwise it tastes like crap, and that's coming from someone who likes oatmeal. i figure honey is better than brown sugar. the only refined sugar i will be eating will be in my morning tea, one and a half teaspoons. i have tried other sweeteners for my tea and there's nothing that works like sugar. i'm not going to use artificial carcinogens, either. if i get cancer i'm going to get it the old fashioned way. and last but not least, i have gotten myself a fitness buddy. i subscribed to SELF magazine, which i love, and i found someone on the fitness forum to be my fitness buddy. never mind that she lives in dallas, it's already working! i got to malley (scu's fitness center) today and found out it's closed until tomorrow. i started thinking about where to go read my book when i realized that i'd have to tell my buddy that i skipped working out, and for such a lame reason, too. so i changed my shoes and took a very brisk walk for an hour. according to the SELF web site, that walk burned 268 calories, and i got to enjoy the lovely weather. woo hoo for me and double woo hoo for my buddy keeping me honest! and then there are the usual things, like getting enough sleep, making sure to stay in touch with my awesome friends, playing more with my pets, and making time to practice an attitude of gratitude. let's face it - i live in america, i'm white, i have a masters degree, thanks to drew we own about twenty computers of one sort or another, and we've both got well paying jobs, which makes us better off than 99% of the world's population. i am always grateful for that fact, as fucked up as this country is, i'm still better off than so many others.

i guess the gratitude rant is a good segue way into getting philosophical... pondering the last year, thinking about the events that have taken place and decide if they have meaning or if this crazy little life is just a random crap shoot. i generally choose between those two choices depending on my mood, so of course the answer fluctuates wildly. after making a move across the country that i didn't want to make, leaving behind my family and friends and the prospect of buying a reasonably priced house, not to mention having a fantastic job with the united steelworkers' political dept dangled in front of me mere weeks before leaving, i can honestly say that my husband still rocks my world. i guess that is the difference between being married to the right person versus being married to a bozo. he's starting to feel better and that makes it worth it, and we really do have a lot of fun together, even if it involves watching too much t.v. i still feel generally friendless since my friends here all live in civilization (i.e. san francisco, oakland and marin) and i live seventy odd miles south, but we'll be moving closer over the summer; i can hack it for eight more months. i really do like my job at scu and i am excited at the prospect of applying to be a resident minister (cross your fingers and say a prayer for me, please!), and our kitties and doggie are well and sweet and the beach is a ten minute walk away, although i don't get down there as much as i should. whenever i'm at the beach nothing seems as bad as it might in another setting.

so i guess all in all that 2007, while a completely tough bitch of a year, was also a good year when measured by the things that really count in life: love, family, friends and laughter. i don't know if i'll ever be rich in ducats, but i am certainly rich in love - the one thing money can't buy.