steroids are not always bad

i had my appointment with the neurologist on friday. i could barely walk, i was in so much pain, and i am not exaggerating. i was in so much pain that when he suggested trying less radical options before surgery i was really pissed off and annoyed; we both were. that's how much i hurt. however, being the good girl i am (the guy is a neurologist so he might know what he's talking about), we got the oral steroid and another prescription filled - some epilepsy drug that he said works on different pain pathways than narcotics (i.e. the percocet that i have been gobbling down), and took the medicine. i also started the process for getting an epidural cortisone shot. that particular procedure involves shooting the cortisone right into the herniated disc area. it's a big rigamarole... i have to get sedated and i am sure some other crap too, but i have heard they're quite effective.

i woke up saturday feeling, well, okay. i wasn't wracked with pain because i'd slept past taking my percocet time, which was my life these past two and a half weeks as i got progressively worse. i wasn't completely better, but i was a lot better than i'd been. it seemed nothing short of miraculous. that's when i decided that steroids, because of people who abuse them, get a bad rap. kind of like pit bulls, which are a wonderful breed (petey from "the little rascals" was a pit), but when owned by reckless assholes can be trained to be aggressive.

i felt pretty weird and tripped out on saturday, let me tell you. our neighbor, nate, came over with his adorable children, liam and emma, for a bbq and i spent most of my time on the couch during the entire event, that's how tripped out i felt. drew told me on sunday it was nice to have me happy and cheerful again, which was nice, but it made me realize i must have been horribly bitchy lately and i was trying so hard not to be. drew is so sweet.... he said it was okay because being in chronic, horrible pain just sucks and he knows that, and part of taking care of me was to not let on that i was being bitchy and miserable. sigh...... i love that man. he's just so good. :)

i am hopeful that the epidural cortisone shot will be all that i need to recover. now that i'm not feeling like i'm going to die from the pain, surgery again seems like a last resort option! it's also a measure of just how much this thing has sucked my will to live. my medical leave was extended by my doctor until may 22nd (totally demoralizing, let me tell you), but i'm hoping that my epidural shot can be scheduled soon, and maybe, if it works as well as the current stuff has, that i can get back to work before that. i really like my job and i miss it. i love to think that should i come into massive amounts of cash i could just be a complete and utter dosser but the reality is i'm the kind of person who needs a place to go. maybe not every day, but most days. i probably wouldn't need a job to accomplish that, so don't get me wrong... i'm not chaining myself to the 9-5 world should it ever happen, but the chances of that are about as good as the chance of brad and angelina popping in for a visit. ah well... to dream!!!

here's a picture from the bbq... trump and emma playing hockey!

drew and nate manning the grill :)