perspective

ah... perspective. my great pal jack always says if people could gain just an inch of perspective outside their own view, they might just see where the other is coming from just enough that the world might be a more tolerant, compassionate place. he could be wrong, but it's always seemed reasonable to me.

anyway... i just got a big old dose of perspective from my wee brother's latest blog entry for blurt magazine. not sure if i mentioned this before, but after his fisa vote i literally could not think about voting for barack obama without feeling like i needed to throw up. truly. i am not making that up. i was so fucking angry i was spitting nails for weeks. again, no exaggeration, it was weeks. after several weeks of being just infuriated i realized that it was one thing to have bush and his evil cronies shoving all the horrible, evil shit down our throats whilst telling us it was for our own good when we knew full well it wasn't, but to have the person who's supposed to be the alternative doing it? and so crassly... just so he can say he was tough on terrorism? it was more than i could take. i decided i couldn't vote him, that i wouldn't vote for him, that he'd lost my vote when all he had to do was nothing so egregious that i'd feel like throwing up when i thought about voting for him. i'm not a purist by any means, i know it's all about compromise and dealing with facts on the ground. i just couldn't stomach it. literally.

but lately i've been thinking maybe i should take some dramamine and vote for obama because the alternative is just so horrible, as justin so eloquently said as he made his case for voting against godzilla-sized evil. i always liked godzilla and felt bad that they were trying to kill him. i mean, he's a monster, what else is he supposed to do but tramp all over tokyo and shoot his death ray? that's what monsters do.

but i digress... this is a race that shouldn't even be close. when 80% of the country says we're headed in the wrong direction, even with the "snatch defeat from the jaws of victory" d.n.c. running the show, it should be a cakewalk. but america is so incredibly racist, so it is. that's why the polls are so close. not because people don't know obama. that's code for "i'll never vote for a n*****." sorry to be crude, but it's true. there are lots of people who won't vote for him because he's black and has a funny name and they've never gone to snopes to check out if those ridiculous emails their cousin sends them are true, because they've never heard of snopes and basically have no critical thinking skills, but that's another post. but they'll never admit it. maybe to close family and friends, but i think the vast majority of white americans who won't vote for obama because he's black won't admit it - to anyone. they'll just say they don't know enough about him (he's black), or he's so vague (he's black), or whatever (he's black.) i hate feeling like i have to vote for someone i am not excited about (again), who wasn't the person i wanted in the first place (again), and who leaves me feeling queasy because there are too many stoopid, racist assholes out there. sometimes i wish we could just wish them all away somewhere and let them wallow in their own filthy mire while the rest of us go on and live in a nice, enlightened place. ah, to sleep! perchance to dream!

so i don't know... i guess i'll think about vote for obama, even though he's going to win california. even though i am still furious about his fisa vote. even though it makes me feel ill and i really am bone weary of voting for a candidate because they're not as bad as the other one. i think hillary would have had a much easier time getting elected, even though she's a woman, because she's a white woman. i wasn't so thrilled about her, either, but thank god my candidate of choice, john edwards, isn't the nominee. thank god he suffered from "just another white guy" syndrome when there were other more exciting, more historically significant people running. that's all we'd need... finding out the guy had an affair at this stage of the game. what a clusterfuck that would have been. i can't believe men are that fucking stupid, but apparently some are.